Payday 2 Honest Trailer (How It Should've Happened)
by lakero45
Summary: Here's a quick witty remake of the Payday 2 Honest Trailer, which, as a prominent player of the game found disappointing. Here's my take on how it should've went.


**I literally wrote this within an hour, so mistakes will be present. Not that it justifies, but context needed. Will fix but it's close to twelve. Just note that I fucking love Honest Trailers, but you gotta admit, the Payday Honest Trailer kinda sucked. It barely mentioned anything accurate about the game. Enough bitchin' and let's get right into the trailer shall we?**

 **Payday 2 Honest Trailer (How it it Should've Been)**

 **Narrator:** From the company that doesn't bother to develop anything else other than DLC for a singular game, comes a sequel to a game based on that one scene from the Dark Knight where people dressed as clowns robbed a bank.

*Sscene where one of the Joker robbers shoot one of the other robs in the back of the bed

 **Narrator:** Minus the backstabbing

*Payday 2 logo

 **Narrator:** Payday 2

*several clips of people fighting through the waves of cops

 **Narrator:** Lock'n'load and go on an all out crime spree across Washington DC with your friends, or your pretty shitty AI companions that won't do anything else except take their precious time to revive you

*AI bot ignores you going down

 **Narrator:** Come on Dallas, stop taking your sweet time and revive me already!

*clips of characters

 **Narrator:** Play as the diverse cast of Payday 2, which consists of the same character archetypes you see in every single team like, the straight-man boss, the tough-to-the-wall black guy, the chick, the crazy mute, and the badass old guy.

*clips of Dallas, Chains, Clover, Jacket, and Rust in that order

 **Narrator:** But with the swearing cranked up to over a hundred percent

 **Dallas:** It's a fucking taser!

 **Houston:** Get the fuck up!

 **Hoxton:** Oi, motherfucker!

 **Narrator:** Equip your best gear and perk up to be as invincible as God as you go on heists that goes from simple and easy...

*bank robbery

 **Narrator:** To convoluted as fuck

*sky diving in Birth of the Sky

 **Narrator:** Which all ends up basically turns into a game of survival as you defend certain points for a long period of time

*camping behind a door

 **Narrator:** Like Destiny, but minus all that narrative. And fight wave after wave against an easily disposable cops with the occasional special enemy that makes your life a pain in the ass.

*taser tasing the player and the cloaker drop kicking the player in the next clip

 **Narrator:** As you patiently wait for the drill that breaks just as easily as the cops' face

*drill breaks

 **Narrator:** With all that money, they should've bought a better drill. And if you're not loud and crazy like the rest of the community, try out the game's stealth mode! A difficult, yet rewarding feature, where you basically sneak past guards, steal loot quietly, and convince the pager guy you're not a bank robber.

 **Jiro:** *Some Japanese quote*

 **Pager:** Mhm ill check into that

 **Narrator:** Seriously? I doubt anyone would higher a security guard that doesn't speak English. But all of that sneaky quiet will go to shit if you get a player below infamy, who probably won't answer the pagers, doesn't bag the dead bodies, and has no silenced weapons.

*players puts on mask because he was spotted

 **Narrator:** At least on the bright side, the music for going loud is kickass

Starring:

Mr. White (Dallas)

Mr. Orange (Dragan)

Mr. Pink (Houston) **AN: I'll stop the Reservoir Dogs references**

Jules Winnfield (Chains)

Asshole 007 (Hoxton)

Ride to Hell (Rust)

Chicken Little (Jacket)

Agent 47 (Wick)

Cyka Blyat (Sokol)

Joker (Wolf)

Daddy Issues (Sydney)

Irish Harley Quinn (Clover)

The One Character No One picks (Bonnie)

Cocaine Addiction (Jimmy)

Obligatory Promotional Character (Bodhi)

Say Hello to my Little Friend (Scarface)

Ryūjin no ken wo kurae! (Jiro)

Sam Fisher (Cloaker)

Lord and Savior Tachanka (Bulldozer)

Don't you know, I'm Electro (Taser)

Male Mercy (Medic)

Winter Soldier (Captain Winter)

Vin Discount (Twitch)

Deadshot (Illija the Sniper)

And No One Cared Who I Before I Put on the Mask (Bain)

 **Narrator:** Drill Defense Simulator 2013. Jesus, don't get me started on all of the DLC, which pretty much means you'll have to pay over a hundred bucks just to get them all.

 **Lakero45: Wow, something that isn't RWBY-related. Hope you guys like this quickie I wrote up. I feel like I missed a few things, but oh well, mistakes will be made. Please leave any comments, it helps me want to live! Also don't expect more, this is a one-shot.**


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